“You are already enough. Even in the ways you feel like you’re falling short.” – M.J. Schwartz

Perfectionism shows up in sneaky ways in midlife. You might feel stuck, unable to start something until you know you can do it perfectly. Or you may find yourself people-pleasing, overthinking, shutting down when you feel overwhelmed, or getting frustrated that your old coping strategies no longer work. With shifting hormones, a more sensitive nervous system, and the emotional weight midlife brings, perfectionism hits harder and takes a bigger toll on your health.

Today, I’m joined by M.J. Schwartz, a specialist in perfectionism, intuitive eating, and mind-body healing. M.J. and I talk about the difference between helpful striving and harmful perfectionism, why freeze mode is so common for women in midlife, how people-pleasing drains your energy, and how perfectionism shows up in your health choices. We also explore why anger becomes more accessible in this season of life and how intuitive eating can help you reconnect with your body’s cues.

By the end of this episode, you’ll understand why perfectionism intensifies during perimenopause and have the practical tools to move through midlife feeling steadier, more compassionate with yourself, and much less overwhelmed.

About M.J. Schwartz

M.J. Schwartz is the founder of Studio 138: A Healing Center for Perfectionists. She has a B.A. is psychology, where she studied perfectionism with one of the leading researchers in the field, as well as certifications in yoga, mindfulness, and Intuitive Eating. M.J. addresses the negative impacts of perfectionism with compassion, humor, and a whole-person approach to healing and growth, with services that are customized to the unique lives and personalities of each individual client.

Your Takeaways

• How perfectionism shows up in midlife and why it often intensifies during perimenopause
• The hidden ways perfectionism drives procrastination, avoidance, and black-and-white thinking
• The strong link between perfectionism, emotional safety, and coping patterns like overeating or restriction
• Why intuitive eating can help rebuild trust in your body’s cues during a time of hormonal change
• How hormonal shifts amplify emotions and how to regulate more effectively
• Practical tools for letting go of control, navigating difficult feelings, and easing self-judgment
• How to handle food and social situations without shame
• M.J.’s core message for midlife women

Connect with M.J. Schwartz

Website: studio138healingcenter.com

Substack: https://imperfectpeople.substack.com/

YouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/@Studio138HealingCenter

Free Workshop – Perfectionism, People Pleasing, and Perimenopause on January 8 at 3pm EST
Register here: https://www.studio138healingcenter.com/classes-and-workshops

Mentioned in this episode

Eating disorders of the perimenopause

Ovarian Hormones and Binge Eating in Adulthood: Summary of Findings and Implications for Individual Differences in Risk in Women

The Renfrew Center: 32 Learning Resources for Eating Disorders & Recovery [Updated for 2024]

Nationaleatingdisorders.org/get-help/