Leslie Duffy 00:00:00 If you’ve ever stood in front of your closet thinking nothing fits. Nothing feels right. Or I don’t even recognize myself in the mirror anymore. This episode is for you. Midlife isn’t just a hormone shift, it’s also an identity shift. Your body is changing. Your clothes might not fit as they used to, and suddenly you feel invisible. Welcome back to the hormone shift show. My name is Leslie Duffy, and I am your host. Today we are talking with Louise Jade Cordell, and she is the founder of Jade Style Coaching. She’s the creator of the Style Confidence Breakthrough. She’s a style coach, transformational mentor, and confidence strategist who helps women reconnect with who they are through the power of wardrobe. In this conversation, Jade and I unpack why style shifts in midlife are so much deeper than fashion, how your closet can mirror your confidence, and what it really takes to be seen again. So if you’ve been waiting for permission to feel good in your clothes again, or to dress for the woman you are now permission granted, my friend.

Leslie Duffy 00:00:56 Let’s get started. You’re listening to the Hormone Shift Show, the podcast where we stop pretending that everything’s fine and we start getting real about midlife health. My name is Leslie Duffy, and I am a registered nurse, life coach, and certified functional hormone expert. This podcast is a guide for women navigating the twists and turns of living through the hormone shift, but also to understand what’s happening with your hormones. Each week, we’re going to dive into topics such as nutrition, gut health, relationships, and mindset. These shifts will help you feel more grounded, more in control, and have a lot more clarity. I am so glad that you are here. And just as a reminder, the content in this podcast is not a substitute for medical advice from your health care practitioner or your medical team. While I am a licensed healthcare professional, I am not giving you any medical advice. This is purely for educational purposes. Please consult your provider for medical guidance specific to you. This is your window of health.

Leslie Duffy 00:01:57 Your comeback starts here. Let’s go. I want to thank Louise for coming on the hormone shift show and give her a really warm welcome. Thank you so much for being here today.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:02:12 Thank you. Thank you for having me. It’s a pleasure.

Leslie Duffy 00:02:14 Again, thank you so much for being here. And welcome to the Hormone Shift show. So let’s jump in because I want to make the most of our time together. I have so many questions. I can also tell you from my own experience. Like women in this day and age, you’re going through the hormone shift your clothes or tighter. You’re holding on to more water. Everything feels uncomfortable. And so many women in midlife stop feeling like themselves. Have you come across that? And what do you think might be going on for them at this moment? And it can be like an emotional thing that they’re going through. What have you come across?

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:02:51 Oh. Oh, thoughts? Honestly? I mean, most of the ladies I worked with are in midlife.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:02:57 They’re in their 40s, 50s. So they’re hitting perimenopause, menopause. And a lot of them do. They get to a stage where they just look at their wardrobe and they go, I’ve got nothing to wear. I think it’s the overwhelm, but gets them a lot of time. So generally speaking, they’re an emotional roller coaster. That’s probably a good way of putting it where they want to feel good about themselves, but they don’t always says that. It’s this connection between how they currently feel and how they want to feel, particularly in terms of their confidence levels. And so I generally find that a lot of women do sort of come and they go. First of all, I can always sort of say I have nothing to wear. And guys take that a little bit further, and then it turns out that there’s a little bit more going on, and there’s a lot of like mindset blocks. A lot of women get to the stage where they almost believe, and they’ve really entrenched it in them, that they don’t believe they can be stylish anymore, and that they sort of gone past that point of no return.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:03:51 And it’s not for them. It’s for other people. And it is. It’s kind of drilling down and uncovering those limiting beliefs so that we can then reframe them. And then you can move forward. Because unless you deal with those feelings, then you’re going to really struggle to make that long lasting change in terms of the physical side of the wardrobe. So it’s a whole sort of process where we like work with the inner and outer image and connecting the two so that we can get that sense of self, like, reclaimed, so that you are dressing for the woman you are now rather than the woman you were, I don’t know, ten, 15, 20 years ago. Because everyone changes. Life evolves and we evolve with it too. Quite often or not, it’s matching the dots. A lot of the time. And it’s also bespoke. I mean, what would work for you, Leslie, versus what would work for one of your friends or one of the many coaches we know? It’s so different.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:04:49 But the strategy that we go through is very much sort of very similar.

Leslie Duffy 00:04:53 So yeah, it sounds to me that it’s not just what you wear, and a lot of clients actually hire me because they’re like, I don’t fit into my clothes anymore. Nothing fits. I’ve invested in all this money in my clothing. I like my clothes. I want to fit into my clothes. I have like my favorite pair of jeans that I used to wear all the time. I can’t fit into them anymore and they’re in the closet. I literally still have them there. I look at them and I’m like, one day and I’m afraid to throw it out because I don’t want to. It’s the investment not only in the shopping, you have to go shopping for new things, and it’s also the investment in like the time that it takes to find the right pair or find the right clothing and then all the all the money, all the money we spent. And it’s like it’s like being thrown out the window. I don’t deal with the fashion part, but my clients will come to me and say, I can’t fit into my clothes.

Leslie Duffy 00:05:40 And it’s very disheartening. You and I seem to overlap. We work on that mindset issue. So if a client comes to you and says, oh my gosh, they think it’s just like a style issue, they’re like, yes, I’ve gained weight. I’ve got a conference. I’ve got to get to someplace. I’m going on a trip or something like that. How do they often come to you? Is it like I have something coming up or I just, I hate my clothes? Or. What’s your, introduction to them? Usually.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:06:07 Well, usually I find a lot of women seek out help. But first of all, normally it starts with completely unaware they have an issue. They like googling things like I have nothing to wear. My closet is overflowing. I have no sense of style. It’s those sorts of things. And then when you have conversations with women, when they sort of kind of come across like who you are and what you do, then generally they start seeing like, oh, hang on a sack.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:06:31 I don’t feel confident in my clothes. Traditional personal styling is very much surface level fixes. Whereas when we’re style coaching, however, we’re looking at the inner confidence as well and the self-image. And so it’s like kind of bringing the two together. But I have noticed it’s different, but it’s similar. I suppose one of the key things that I kind of noticed with a lot of women, when they sort of really directly seek out help, is that they are going through some sort of transition in their life. This could be a lifestyle transition, you know, could be a career change. It could be a promotion starting or growing a business, you name it, entering retirement sometimes. Or it could be even body changes. Again, like menopause, even perimenopause or, you know, changes after having a baby. You know, all these things where something is altered in their life so that the clothes they currently have don’t work for them now. And that is the common denominator. I mean, one of my best clients I had actually, and we’re still quite friendly to this day.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:07:29 She had just left her old job, and she was obviously in sort of transition between going from job to job. So she like she said, this is a change in my circumstances. I had another lady again. She was just entering retirement and she had worn a uniform her whole career. And so she was like, I have no idea how to dress. My wardrobe is not adapted for it. So it’s just funny. But it’s normally that one change. Something’s different in your life where the status quo no longer works. And for us, it’s examining where you are now and versus where you want to be.

Leslie Duffy 00:08:05 I love that, I love that that’s so interesting because when clients come to me, maybe here’s the difference. And I love this about what you do. When clients come to me, they have stopped going out to parties because they can’t find any clothes to fit into. They don’t go to the barbecue. They don’t go to the pool party. They don’t go to the beach. They think that they have to change themselves to fit into their clothes.

Leslie Duffy 00:08:32 And so I’m kind of picking up on from you is like, no, you don’t change yourself to fit into your clothes. Tell me what you think might be happening there.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:08:43 This is a visibility issue, and this is part of what we do in our program, our Self-confidence Breakthrough program, where part of it is about how to align yourself with your energy, your presence, and how to be more visible. And what I mean visible. I mean how you want to show up. So, for instance, if you feel more confident in your clothes, you’re going to have no issues. Go into that barbecue, that family gathering or that party. That friend that you had in high school say was frozen, and you’re reconnecting with people you maybe haven’t seen for like 10 or 15 years, perhaps. But the confidence is at the root of it, because a lack of confidence means you want to hide, you want to shrink. And that’s what we want to avoid. We want to do the opposite.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:09:25 I mean, I don’t mean being loud and shouting from the rooftops sort of visibility because, I mean, that’s not for everyone because a lot of people are introverted and I myself included. That’s not how we work. So we can do this through our clothes. And when we feel good in what we were and what works for us now exactly how we are. Then you will show up with more intention, your show of confidence. And you know you’re not going to turn down invites, are you? It’s so disheartening, actually, when you see it, when you can see people at the beginning, how they do, they feel. So you can just see that sense of sadness in them. That’s pretty the best way of putting it and that disconnection. And you think it’s something wrong with them, but actually it’s completely opposite. There’s nothing wrong with them. I mean, we’re all unique. We’re all individuals. You know, we’re not all meant to look. Saying dress is saying you name it.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:10:17 It’s about making the best of what you’ve got. And that’s why I always say it’s about enhancing, not hiding.

Leslie Duffy 00:10:23 Oh, I love that. Without having to change the scale. That’s what I love about what your message is. Even in my own practice, what I see is if you’re constantly wearing clothes that are too small for you or too uncomfortable, you’re literally raising your cortisol levels. And this is a stress issue. Now we’re suddenly the body already is slightly inflamed because menopause and perimenopause is a inflammatory state for many of us, and now you’re just exacerbating it by wearing clothes that don’t fit. And then you’ve got that constant kind of negative loop in your brain. Like every time you walk into your closet, you’ve got the clothes that don’t fit. Oh, I can’t wear that. Well, it’s happened to me. Obviously, it’s happened to everybody. It’s not like this is unusual, but I will tell you, what’s happened to me is I just wear the same clothes. You know, I was very grateful for the pandemic.

Leslie Duffy 00:11:13 I was like, I could just wear leggings all day long.

Leslie Duffy 00:11:17 I was like, yes.

Leslie Duffy 00:11:18 When you start wearing clothes that fit you, your stress levels go down.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:11:22 Oh, of course you feel bad about yourself. You have to happy hormones go rather than the stress hormones.

Leslie Duffy 00:11:27 Happy hormones all the way.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:11:29 Yeah, you get all the negativity and it’s like a good friend of mine said, if you want positive things to happen to you, you need to have positive thoughts. And so you need to feel good about yourself in order to get to that point. And again, our style Wardrobe are brilliant tools for doing this, and a lot of people don’t realize because they think it’s a vanity thing, I think. I think that’s the issue, particularly here in the UK. I think it still hasn’t quite caught up. I think people still feel like, oh, if you’re obsessed with style, you’re vain. You just want to look good. No, you want to feel good and there’s nothing wrong and there’s nothing ashamed of feeling like that.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:12:02 I’m not afraid to say that.

Leslie Duffy 00:12:03 I love it, I love it. Some people.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:12:05 Might disagree, but I do honestly believe.

Leslie Duffy 00:12:08 That.

Leslie Duffy 00:12:09 I think one of the fears also when we’re talking about, okay, thank goodness, it’s not like I have to change. I don’t have to lose £20 by next week because we’re going on a cruise. There’s this acceptance, right? There’s just like this acceptance of your body, of where you are in your life. But I think a lot of women are like, I don’t want to accept this. I don’t want to accept that I’m a bigger size because I think they think. And this is just for my anecdotal from all of my clients that I’ve had. It’s almost like the biggie or you can’t be stylish.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:12:37 Yeah, I’ve heard that so many times. I mean, one of my good Friends, you know. Again. Former client of mine. She is plus size. And she said the same to me. She goes, how do you find any clothes? That’s stylish.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:12:47 But we did. When I shop for her. And she was absolutely astounded. She was just like, wow. You know, she goes, I would never have thought I could wear clothes like this, right? Oh she can. You know, it’s just knowing where to look. And that’s the thing. It is knowing the places to look and finding all the secret little treasure trove of, like, retailers, I suppose. And it is. I mean, there’s so much out there, but I think a lot of us don’t realize that we have access to necessarily, you know, because we all think of our stores that we have, like in our local area a lot at the time. We don’t think beyond that. And so it’s also thinking of all the different possibilities. Definitely. And I mean, I always say to like ladies especially, you know, ladies who are in that stage where they go around and go, do you know what I do? I do want to lose a few pounds.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:13:29 That would make me feel better and that’s absolutely fine. Again, we support probably no difference yourself. You will support them if that’s what they want to do.

Leslie Duffy 00:13:36 Meet the person where they’re at. They want to lose the weight. Okay, but you can still be stylish.

Leslie Duffy 00:13:40 On.

Leslie Duffy 00:13:40 The way.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:13:40 Yeah. Of course you can. You can just go find your transition pieces and you’ll mix and match pieces. And there’s ways of doing it. And there’s also ways of elevating your outfits whilst you’re on this journey and adapting. It doesn’t mean you got to throw your whole closet out. It’s just about adapting and just changing a little bit as you go along. Because again, it’s an ongoing process. Doesn’t happen overnight and our wardrobes are like that. We keep changing a little bit at a time. So it’s not a complete like, let’s chuck everything out of the wardrobe and start afresh. Not at all. That’s not how we work.

Leslie Duffy 00:14:09 That’s going to be my next question because I want to know, like, how do you start with somebody who, you know, they walk in the door, nothing’s fitting anymore.

Leslie Duffy 00:14:17 Maybe they’re in a transition, maybe not. Maybe they’re just realizing that they want to start feeling better about themselves. I think also, we tend to not really invest in ourselves unless there’s a transition. Like, unless I’m starting a new job or I’m going over here and I think we need that permission to be like, you know what, I want to feel better in my clothes. I want to feel better in my body. And that starts with wearing clothes that fit. That’s actually one of the things I tell my clients. I’m like, you have to wear clothes that fit, don’t wear the tight clothes, but I feel like we need an excuse in order to invest in this. So what can you say to that person who’s like, I’m feeling bad in my body? I’m saying no to things that I want to do or my old self. I’m not a social anymore. What’s the first thing you would tell them? And then when you start with the client, what do you do? How do you start with that?

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:15:03 Well, first of all, I’d say personal growth is a transition in itself.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:15:07 And that gives you enough permission to start this journey if that’s what you want to do. So don’t necessarily let that stop you. I think even that just knowing that you’re at this point where you want to change is enough of a reason to go on this journey with us. Absolutely. Normally, the first thing we do is actually we look at where you are now, very much so, and rediscover who you are, for instance. So in my program, the first module is all about rediscovering yourself and coming back to your roots and looking at the colors and the styles that work for you now and your body now, and doing all the sort of little fun bits like that, because then we can kind of start to build a picture. And that’s even before we start to audit and take a look at what you’ve already got in your wardrobe, chances are you’ve probably got loads of pieces that still will work. And we include accessories in that as well, not just physical clothes, because a lot of people do sort of forget that accessories are just as important, sometimes more important, because they are what will elevate your outfit and take them from drab to fab.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:16:08 Most certainly. I mean, I’m a massive fan of that. And then it’s all about sort of rebuilding your closet from there. Just a little bit of time before we finally in our final month, we look at how we can radiate this confidence in the long term so we can keep this progress up so that it’s not short lived. Because I think a lot of women get a bit not concerned, but I suppose they sort of almost think, yes, this is a lovely thing to do, but is this going to last? It’s going to be short lived. Am I going to keep the momentum up? Yes, absolutely. If you work at it and then the right techniques and have the right mindset because you can more than be able to do it. So I didn’t really sort of joke with my ladies. Don’t worry, we’re not going to chuck your whole closet out. Don’t worry. You know, I’ve had some husbands too. I’m not going to lie. Just to reassure them, they do go really well.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:16:57 And, you know, I’ve had that before. I don’t chuck all the clothes out, you know. Please.

Leslie Duffy 00:17:03 Yeah.

Leslie Duffy 00:17:04 Absolutely. So what do you do? I literally have, like, the cutest pants and I’m really hesitant to throw them out, I love them. How do you get people to release the grip again?

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:17:20 This comes through at the end of month one when we’re auditing the wardrobe. So that’s the final step of our rediscover stage. So I always sort of get my ladies to put their clothes in a pile. So how we generally work is, first of all, because you’re thinking, how do you do this remotely?

Leslie Duffy 00:17:35 That’s right.

Leslie Duffy 00:17:35 Because you also do remote coaching. You do it in person and remote.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:17:39 Mostly remote, actually. You’d be.

Leslie Duffy 00:17:41 Surprised. Okay, definitely.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:17:43 Okay, so I have a wardrobe management platform called Hue and Stripe where the idea is, as a client, you can take a snap of every item in your wardrobe. So just imagine I’m doing a camera and then you can upload the photos to your closet, which will be yours.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:17:57 And then I have access to it too. So it’s very much a wee not me approach. Definitely. So you know, we can work on it together. We can make notes, collaborate, all the fun stuff that we want to do. So what I always say is that we go through each piece one at a time. And if there’s a case where, like I said, someone’s favorite pants that they just like don’t want to let go of, I always sort of pose the questions to them when was the last time you wore them? And usually it’s more than two years ago, quite often or not. And I think, okay, so when is the next time you will likely wear them? It is normally sort of is a bit of a thought provoking one because a lot of women do go, Maybe in a few months. I’m like, are you sure? Will you ever wear this again? And I mean, yeah, don’t get me wrong. If you have sentimental items like you have like your favorite dress that you have from you, like when you’re in your 20s that you absolutely adore your nan bought you.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:18:47 You can keep that. There’s nothing wrong with having sentimental items at all. You can keep a few, you know. There’s no rules or, you know, beliefs saying you can’t. I always just say we just got to be realistic about whether this is a piece that’s generally taking up space, which you could replace it with something else that would be better suited to you. So it’s that whole catch 22, because every piece we have in our closet does take up space, whether we like it or not. But you know, every piece you have hanging up is a little, you know, piece of your rail that you will not have access to for anything new. So it’s about we want it. In an ideal world, obviously bar any sentimental items that we do own, we want to keep it consistent with having pieces that work for us now. And sometimes some of these pieces we wore when we were sort of younger say, like this sort of amazing pants you were talking about, sometimes they can actually make you feel worse.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:19:42 There is a case I had ladies who say they constantly remind them of what they used to look like, or who they used to be, rather than just accepting and celebrating the person they are now. I always sort of take a bit of a judgment on it, and it also depends on the client. Very much so, because some people are better at sort of letting go of pieces and others, and some people also hold on to limiting beliefs about certain items as well. And sometimes it’s more helpful to actually let it go than to keep it as a constant reminder of any sort of negative sort of self-talk. So again, it all depends really. I mean, have you got any sentimental items in your wardrobe?

Leslie Duffy 00:20:21 Well, I do have a couple of jackets, mostly outerwear. It’s mostly accessories for me. I wanted to ask you a question about the fact that most women, when they go out shopping, they keep buying the same items. Like I keep buying the same block sweater, or I keep buying the same cut of jeans, and then you want to find out, like, am I wearing the same things that I’m dating myself? Or I have another friend of mine who actually she would like go shopping at forever 21 and she’s 21.

Leslie Duffy 00:20:56 Like when? Like at some point. Like, how do you gently tell people, okay, we got to start dressing for our age, but we do kind of wear the same items. And I was like, what am I going to wear today for Louise? But I’m like, black looks good on me. I was like, I don’t know what to wear when I’m going to interview with Style Coach. So what do you say to that? You’re always wearing the same colors. You’re always wearing the same style, the same thing.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:21:19 Do you know what? A lot of women have duplicate items. I mean, I’ve had it before. Even myself included. It’s like when I recently did that. My closet. I’ve found about three green cardigans and I’m like, okay. And this is what I say to anyone, including yourself. Actually, do you really need more than one? So you actually need more than one. In reality, a lot of the time you get like a lot of ladies who get, no, correct.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:21:48 You don’t need necessarily need more than one. Again, this is part of the process where when we’re sort of rebuilding that wardrobe, you know, a wardrobe obviously makes you feel more confident. This is where I introduce color very much into the process, because I always find colors a brilliant way of diversifying your wardrobe and creating more variety. It’s so exciting. It’s fun to have a go playing with different combinations and also same with accessories as well. You can add a splash of color just with a necklace, and we get to that point where we just have a little bit more fun with it. I mean, I always challenge my ladies to actually try new things. It’s an element of pushing the boat out. Getting out of your comfort zone. Going for it. Challenge yourself to wear something different and see how you feel. And compare those feelings from when you’re wearing that same old outfit that you’ve always worn. Or your thousandth, I don’t know, black jumper you own and compare yourself. What makes you feel better? And a lot of the time it’s your improved version that is normally the one where they go.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:22:49 Do you know what? I actually feel really good about myself. Color. Particularly brilliant for getting those sort of emotions flowing and making you feel good because I mean, we all have like power colors that we absolutely love and we know we look fabulous them. And there is a case of sometimes discovering those and having a play. I mean, for instance, like even when like with a laptop you’re wearing, you know, so you had that in so many different colors. It’s the same top. Yes. But you can change it up with just, you know, having a different shade of, I don’t know if you like different shades of blue or green, you name it. So yeah, I mean, I just make me chuckle sometimes when I see, like, I don’t know, I think the worst I’ve seen is like five white shirts in one go. Do you need this many? And then I remember she was like, but it’s the same ish. And I was like, yeah, you’re right.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:23:36 It’s the same because she was obviously trying to convince me they were all different. But I was like, no, they’re not. They’re not.

Leslie Duffy 00:23:42 I know. To me, I’m like.

Leslie Duffy 00:23:44 Well, I need a black sweater that’s heavy. I need a black sweater that’s light. I need a black sweater that’s a different material.

Leslie Duffy 00:23:49 One that’s got texture. Like, that’s what I tell myself. Anyway, I find myself wearing the same items and there are certain colors I know look better on me. And then when I do wear something different, somebody’s like, oh my gosh.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:24:03 The change is noticeable. Yeah, you do. People just go, wait, what? You know, as soon as you wear something different. It’s funny, isn’t it, how people take notice. And again, this is the idea of your presence, you know, or you’re giving off how other people see you. And it’s funny, isn’t it? But even something as simple as changing the color that you usually were is enough to get you noticed.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:24:24 You know, and show up differently. It’s bizarre, but it’s how human psyche works, I suppose.

Leslie Duffy 00:24:30 I know, I know. So I think my follow up to all of that would be that decision fatigue. For me, black is easy because I know I look good in it. I know it’s going to fit. Like I’m going to be wearing the same clothes over and over again. And I have like my little uniform. So then look at Steve Jobs with his black turtleneck. Everybody talks about that decision fatigue. The less decisions you make all day. You are doing yourself a favor.

Leslie Duffy 00:24:56 So what do you.

Leslie Duffy 00:24:57 Say to.

Leslie Duffy 00:24:57 That? Because I don’t want.

Leslie Duffy 00:25:00 To be making more decisions, but I also want to be.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:25:03 More adventurous. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, decision fatigue is often rooted in, obviously, a lack of confidence. Stress. Overwhelm. Massively filled closet. A lot of women actually just don’t wear most of the stuff in their closet. Is like a study that was performed actually a while back, and they reckon about 80% of our closet gets unworn.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:25:26 We only wear 20% of what we actually own. Which is crazy, isn’t it? When you are 21.

Leslie Duffy 00:25:31 For everything, right?

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:25:32 And this is where part of my method comes in my style confidence breakthrough method where when it comes to rebuilding your wardrobe, I’m a huge, huge fan of minimalist styling and capsule wardrobes. And let’s make this easy, because the idea is that if you have fewer items, items that you can easily mix and match that aren’t just neutrals. Because I think this is why women particularly love going to black and white sometimes because they’re easy colors, they do go with everything. And don’t get me wrong, neutrals do have a place in your wardrobe, but are there to be. I always say they’re good foundation for your wardrobe, and then we can add splashes of color elsewhere to sort of jazz it up a little bit. It’s better to have less pieces, but you can mix and match then a wardrobe that’s crammed, but you can’t do that with that. It’s almost so overwhelming.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:26:18 And then I think it’s that sense of giving up. And that’s why I think a lot of women just kind of go through the hands in the air, and it’s like, I’m just gonna wear this again. It’s easier because it is when something feels too difficult or too stressful, overwhelming, you just give up. You do. It’s human nature. You gotta feel excited. And that’s why when you know, you can create endless possibilities. Not sound overly dramatic, but certainly a lot more than before. It does help, and it does create that excitement again. And it does make you feel more confident, because I do notice a change once they’ve got their more intentional, structured, sort of minimalist wardrobe in place and dressing becomes easier and much more joyful then they do. I mean, a lot of my ladies feel more confident making those choices. They immediately go, I’ve got this! Rather than sort of staring blankly. I think we’ve all done it. I mean, myself included, we’ve all done it at some point where you just stand there and you just don’t have the inspiration, whereas if you’re small, concentrated and more manageable, then actually you do have more inspiration.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:27:23 Which sounds really counterintuitive, but there is a method behind our madness.

Leslie Duffy 00:27:29 Yeah, but for women over 40, are there like, any rules? Like, would you say like, do not wear this, whatever you do. Is there like, this is style wise, this is something you need to stop doing.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:27:40 Do you know what? If you believe me, say this. But I’m not a massive believer in strict style rules. We roll how we want to roll here, and I say it’s always depends on the person. Because yeah, you always hear certain style rules like match your shoes and bag. I think that’s a classic one. I remember I got this little bit when I was a kid, and it had little tips and tricks in it, and that was one of them. And yes, I’m not saying it doesn’t work, but I always say that to be rebellious to a degree. Let’s have fun with this. I mean, for some women, that approach doesn’t necessarily work. And then we will just sort of tailor it down and just like kind of tone it down ever so slightly.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:28:13 Whereas for other women, I’ve had loads of women who are definitely more on the creative side of things, and they love to do that. They’re like, yes, you know, they feel seen, they feel heard and they love it. And they can just sort of dress how they want. It’s like there’s a classic sort of argument against do you tuck in or do you not? And I always say that depends depends on the outfit where you’re wearing it to the occasion. All of that sort of stuff. It’s hard to pinpoint certain rules. I always say that we just put an outfit together and just take a look. Does it look right? Does it not? Would you feel good in this? Do you not? And it depends on the person really more than anything, whether you know, you’d recommend certain things. So I don’t like to sort of put people in like a sort of box necessarily. I’m not a trend chaser when it comes to style. Yes. It’s great when we look for timeless styles and, you know, yes, we always want to add a few new pieces here and there.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:29:05 Keep it fresh and updated, because it always feels like a little gift to us when we can just add something new. It always feels quite nice, don’t get me wrong, but in terms of sort of like you have to dress for this season in this way. Now, we don’t do that here. It’s all about what works for you. And if I to give one main message to your listeners is you have a wardrobe that works for you now. Not for who? I don’t know, your neighbor down the street or your friend is what works for you, and it’s all bespoke and that’s the brilliant and the variety you get. Well, this is absolutely amazing because what will work for you may not work for me or vice versa, or it’s just incredible, really. So no, I’m not a firm believer of following strict rules. We just take it by, I suppose, and just see what it looks like on that person. Really.

Leslie Duffy 00:29:51 Okay, so my friend who goes to forever 21 is free to go to forever.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:29:57 She is happy. I mean, I might get to a point where I say, okay, sometimes you do think. I mean, again, I don’t like to box women when it comes to age too much because some women, again, could be the exact same age, but they look different in ages. That’s the thing. Age is so subjective, isn’t it? Some people look younger than their age, for instance, so maybe they can get away with certain things for a little bit longer than you know, traditionally you might believe. I do believe it depends on the person, whether it works for them. Your friend at forever 21. If it works for her and she’s happy and she feels good in it, then fair play to her. I mean.

Leslie Duffy 00:30:29 So just.

Leslie Duffy 00:30:30 To be open.

Leslie Duffy 00:30:31 To.

Leslie Duffy 00:30:31 I would imagine, like what fits your body, what fits your style, what you’re comfortable, which is what you said you’re.

Leslie Duffy 00:30:36 Like.

Leslie Duffy 00:30:37 It really depends on what you feel comfortable.

Leslie Duffy 00:30:38 And I love that.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:30:40 If you don’t feel comfortable, you’re not going to feel confident. Very much so. You know, again, like you say, you come back to the example where you’re wearing clothes are so tight you can’t breathe, and then you get the cortisol levels rising and you feel stressed and you might get a migraine through the stress of it. You know, it does happen. And yeah, it’s not going to make you feel good.

Leslie Duffy 00:30:58 So absolutely it’s not it’s not okay. So if you were to tell somebody, bring me something tangible that you would say, what’s the one thing that people in the audience and whoever’s listening are my listener right now who is interested in the up leveling their wardrobe? We’re doing one thing. If we could break it down just to one thing, what would you say to do right now? Something tangible that they could go do?

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:31:27 This is a challenge I often set in our free style revamp cause I always say, go to your closet, look in there and find that one piece which makes you feel confident, which again, in our terminology we call it our confidence anchor.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:31:44 So that’s a piece that makes you feel confident every time you wear it without fail. It’s just that go to, you know, if I want a little boost, I want to feel amazing. That’s what I wear. So I would suggest you go to your closet. Just look through. And what is that one piece that you every time without a doubt, makes you feel confident? Fabulous. Amazing. I mean, what’s your go to peace, Leslie?

Leslie Duffy 00:32:07 Oh, my goodness, It’s black. It’s probably a jumper. I have this really great v necks look good on me. It’s like that one piece. I’m better off with animals or something. That is, you know, that you could piece together. I like that your idea of the, minimalist wardrobe, but it’s literally just one piece pantsuit that is a jumper, and it’s shaped. Well, for me, it’s the shape. So that’s what I always go to.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:32:34 Yeah. I mean again, so it’s yeah, identifying that one confidence anchor piece and challenge yourself to wear it.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:32:41 You know for the next occasion it’s suitable for. So again if it’s some smaller special occasion outfit then again naturally you’re not going to wear it at the supermarket. I get that. You know it’s got to be appropriate. And as a second sort of point, I can also suggest to again challenge yourself to add a splash of colour to your outfits, because a lot of us get stuck in the neutral trap and it’s about taking our outfits from sort of near to amazing. Just add one color to your outfit and that can be something as small as a necklace, bag, shoes, you name it. You don’t have to have to work head to toe, but just add in a little splash and observe how you feel. And if you can combine both challenges together, wear your confidence, anchor outfit or piece with a splash of color and just see the difference. Notice those internal feelings and how you feel about yourself.

Leslie Duffy 00:33:34 I love that and that makes me think about remember when Lady Dye wore her revenge dress? Yeah, it’s like that.

Leslie Duffy 00:33:40 That outfit that she’s just like. She’s just like, has that swagger. So. All right, so let’s get a little bit more personal. Louise, I want to know, how did you get into this? And what’s your confidence anchor for you?

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:33:56 You know, some people laugh when I tell them this was going back a few years now. I remember, obviously, you know, you do all the things you study, you get your degree, all of that. And I just remember just. You know, you go for a few sort of job interviews like you do. You just follow the status quo. And none of it felt right. I’ll be honest with you. You sit. You look around different workplaces. You meet different people and stance for different jobs. It just doesn’t, you know, in your heart of hearts, you like, this doesn’t feel right. It just doesn’t feel me at all. Again, it’s the authenticity. It just wasn’t. There was a real disconnect even in that.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:34:31 And so I remember being really frustrated after the last one. I think I was just like, Ryan, this is the final straw. I’ve had enough, you know, this is just not feeling good. And again, it’s no different to how we feel about a wardrobe. I mean, sometimes, you know, it’s lovely when we can find our calling in life. That feels good naturally. Because again, I mean, I suppose I always had this desire to do something that had a bit more meaning, but generally helped people and made them feel good about themselves. So I was like, no, I’m going to be different. And I remember just googling cool careers because I just literally had enough.

Leslie Duffy 00:35:03 Like cool, like fun careers. Does that we mean like.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:35:06 Yeah, cool, fun careers and image consultancy came up. And funny enough, when I remember doing my degree, I remember mum saying to me, she was like, oh, you should do that. You would, you know, because I’ve always off shopping.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:35:17 I do dressmaking too, so I’ve always I’ve had that sort of in my blood. I mean, it’s like my great grandmother, actually, I think she applied for an apprenticeship at Burberry back in the day, and my great grandmother on my mum’s side as well. Again, she was a keen seamstress, you know, just making everything. So it’s also in my blood somewhere, the fashion Jean would call it. I just remember seeing that and I just thought, do you know what? That sounds amazing. That’s me. So I remember this was probably about, I guess, a few weeks before we locked down here in the UK for Covid. I remember ordering my style coaching books because obviously, as you do when you know you prefer the same, when you’re looking for training, looking to get qualified and your coaching expertise, you want to find an institute or a course that aligns with you. And what struck me about style coaching, as opposed to traditional personal styling, was that it wasn’t just about surface level fixes and trend chasing.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:36:13 It was more about how to heal the inner image as well and bring it full circle. Because I do honestly believe that if you don’t feel comfortable or confident in your clothes and this can include new clothes too, then nothing’s going to change. You know, to get that long lasting impact, you need to have that confidence and a really good positive body image. So that was what initially drew me to the course. And I thought, this sounds fabulous. This sounds me. It sounds more authentic and I love it. I love the message it’s given off. And so I remember ordering my books. I literally came probably 2 or 3 weeks before we locked down. So that’s back in 2020. And so I remember spending the time qualifying. Then obviously I did sort of, you know, a few years back I started practicing and here we are now. But it’s been a journey because it’s like you start off offering personal styling services, some stylist that clicks with them. But for me, I’ll be honest, I can think of quite a few success stories, but it didn’t feel so good, I’ll be honest with you.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:37:13 So it wasn’t actually until I started talking to more women, particularly ladies in the United States, because I don’t think in the UK we’re quite there when it comes to coaching. I think we’re normally sort of five, ten years behind you guys. So I reckon in time there will be a catch up, but just maybe not in a moment. And so I when I started talking to ladies. Yeah, in the United States, I noticed the difference in what they wanted. The demand wasn’t for traditional personal styling. It definitely was more for reclaiming their sense of identity, having that emotional connection to clothing, which seems like quite unheard of territory. I mean, I haven’t seen many stylists who actually do it this way and use this approach. A lot of it is definitely surface level, trend Focused. And so I just remember having this light bulb moment actually. Why don’t I actually use my qualification role and actually combine the coaching side of things? And do you know what? I haven’t looked back since I’ve done it.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:38:12 I mean, because it’s gone from being a commodity where, you know, yes, some a lot of women think it’s nice, but it’s a luxury, you know, it’s like, oh, I can’t justify that. I feel guilty versus an emotional transformation that has such a ripple effect in their lives that it’s a no brainer to invest in, you know, because obviously, again, when we feel more confident, that improves our career prospects, our ability to be more visible in our businesses, our relationships improve our personal life and social life improve. You know, the list is endless, and this obviously differs from person to person. It’s just, again, talking to people and actually listening to what they wanted. What was the need came to the conclusion to create my style, confidence, breakthrough method.

Leslie Duffy 00:38:59 I love that. I love that. One of my final questions I would like to ask you is we discussed how gaining momentum can be really tough. I think of it as you know, when you declutter a house, you declutter a drawer.

Leslie Duffy 00:39:13 To me, it’s very difficult to keep that up, right? It’s like, oh, it’s just your habits. You’re just going to like, throw the keys back in there. I’m going to throw the scissors and all the things that go in the kitchen junk drawer. And then I probably have to do it again next month. What is like a practice that anybody in the audience could start to do in order to maintain that momentum, to look your best with the idea that we want to feel our best and continue doing something that would elevate our wardrobe and not go back to our old habits where I’m going to just throw on my Lululemon leggings. So. So how do you continue that momentum?

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:39:49 Yeah, I mean, one of the techniques I mean, there’s so many techniques we do. And this is particularly in sort of month three of the 12 week program is when we obviously talk about radiating that confidence in the long term. One of the techniques that I love performing with my ladies is visualization. If you can vividly picture how you want to be, how you believe, you know, you know, you can look in your heart of hearts and you know how you want to feel and how amazing that would feel and the ripple effect in your life.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:40:20 And really concentrate on that feeling and your surroundings. Kind of what can you see? What can you hear, even smells and get really entrenched in it and actually visualize? And you know, sometimes I say even create like a mood board. If you want a physical visualization of some of what you want your life to look like is quite a weird way of doing this, because then if you can physically see it, whether that’s on paper, on your computer, or even in your mind, that’s enough, you know? Because if you can kind of always think, okay, you know, there’s days where we struggle more than others to keep momentum up. You know, sometimes our ability to say, oh, you know, I just I’ve just had enough. I just, you know, this is effort, all of that. It’s about kind of rethinking of the bigger picture, the long term picture and how you want to stay, how you want to keep looking in terms of, you know, we’ve made all this progress so far.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:41:14 You don’t want to revert back. How would it feel to revert back? Do you want to go back to those negative feelings? My ladies actually say, you know, once we can pick it up, whatever it is like in your mind or physically, then that gives them enough motivation to go. Do you know what? This is worth it. This is my long term goal. I want to keep going. And another thing that I do tend to do is set little mini goals. We take it in little baby steps. So because the overwhelm a bit like what you said with the decision fatigue, once you’re overwhelmed, that can cause you to sort of give up because it feels too much. It’s like if I said to you, Leslie, go declutter your whole house right now, you’d be thinking, no way, it’s not happening. You know, this is too much. This is just too stressful. I’m not going to do it. So again, it’s all about taking things a little bite sized chunks.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:42:03 So it’s like for instance, with the decluttering side of the process, which you know, you as a client would do, I would say just do a little bit of time, take pictures of all your tops today, make that your aim. You know, you could do your dresses, I don’t know, next week. That’s fine. Take it at your pace. So it’s about setting those little milestones so that you can make progress. Yes, it feels slow sometimes, but you’re still making progress. Because sometimes I do find the ladies who make big leaps too early on. They’re the ones who tend to get most overwhelmed.

Leslie Duffy 00:42:36 Yes, I see that in the health field too.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:42:39 Our first thing you probably do as well sometimes it’s like, rein it in a bit. That’s why we have it structured in a way where you just do a little bit of time.

Leslie Duffy 00:42:48 Yes, yes. And making a part of your process of what can you add? Rather than, you know, I’m not going to eat any more potato chips type of situation.

Leslie Duffy 00:42:56 Exactly. I like your idea of I do that too with my clients is just to create a vision board and I even do that myself. I have that every that I look at every day. The person that I’m becoming, and I anchor it with some qualities that I’m trying to embody. I have my own coach, so that kind of I like that. And then just moving. It doesn’t have to be a huge step, but it can be one step closer to that person. I like to call that my future self. Leslie 2.0 or you know, Louise 2.0. What can you do today to get closer to her in the functional medicine? The way we do it is obviously it’s very holistic, the way we we do our work, but it’s getting rid of those. The black and white, the binary, the, you know, all or nothing type of thinking. So that’s very important. I like your approach.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:43:40 That’s why we love it so well because yeah, way of approaching it rather than this or that.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:43:47 That’s it. You know, it just depends on the person you know. There’s no right or wrong answer and everyone works at their own pace as well. You know, that’s also good to consider, but it’s not about rushing you through necessarily, but it’s going with the flow and kind of like what’s meant is meant it will happen. Just take it little steps at a time.

Leslie Duffy 00:44:07 Okay. So then my final question to you is what is your confidence anchor for you in your wardrobe?

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:44:13 Oh well, I do have one piece I do have that I always feel amazing is I have a bright red pillar box wrap dress. I do sometimes wear it for work, but again, it’s one of those pieces that you can wear for work. So if I was on a call with a client, say, or if I was attending an in-person event, or you can really dress it up with more glitz and glam for an evening occasion. And I’ve been known to wear this one even on my birthdays, because it’s just amazing.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:44:41 It’s lovely. It’s a Ralph Lauren wrap dress. I absolutely adore it. It was a present. And again, when we’re talking about power colors, red is one of mine red and green. Between the two of them, I just absolutely love them. I mean, what’s your power color, Leslie? Apart from black, you can’t say black.

Leslie Duffy 00:44:56 I know I can’t choose black. Okay, I will say I have been told that I look better with jewel tones. It’s funny because my mother has very similar coloring to me. And when she wears a color that I would never wear, I’m like, boy, that looks good on her. I’m like, that would look good on me. I’m like, because she has like the same features and skin color and hair color and everything. So I’m like, oh, I’ve got to try that. But I would say that like a deep green is probably my power color for me.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:45:24 I’m seeing emerald green. Yes, I have a free resource. But again, I’m happy to make available to your listeners as well, as well as my challenge, which I talk about in a circ.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:45:35 But I also have an additional resource called it’s How to Identify Your Power Color, and it’s an amazing guide with some thought provoking narratives in it. We have. I’m a massive fan of journaling prompts. Getting your feelings onto paper or on your computer or tablet if you love a fillable version. We’re all down for that. Don’t worry. You know you’re awesome. Some of us like to write. Some of us like to type. I know preference doesn’t really matter and really get in the space of actually analyzing and thinking. You know what? Yellow makes me feel amazing. Well, there you go. Where? More yellow. It is as simple as that. It’s a process that guides you through and actually gets you thinking in the it’s sometimes it’s the first step to thinking, hang on a second. The impact color can have on your energy, your visibility, you know, your confidence, etc. will also gift your listeners the ability to opt in for my five day style Confidence Reset challenge.

Leslie Duffy 00:46:33 Oh, I love that.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:46:35 Let’s take some action five days again, it’s a workbook you go through with journaling prompts, questions and answers. You name it and little. And also got two challenges in there as well, where you start with rediscovering yourself to checking in where you are now, with how you feel about your wardrobe, to seeing the charity in your closet and actually seeing whether you know you do have clarity or if it’s overwhelm, and actually have that realization to find in your confidence anchor pieces, which again, we talked about earlier, and then writing and dedicating a style vision statement to yourself and actually put down on paper what you want to achieve. What are you prepared to actually go for? What is your aim and take that first step?

Leslie Duffy 00:47:22 I cannot overemphasize to the audience how important not only is it that these practices are incorporated not so that we look good in our clothes, and this is what Louise is teaching. Is that so you feel good in your body and that you feel good and you’re confident, and that in itself is going to drive us to better health in general.

Leslie Duffy 00:47:43 This is incredibly connected and holistic in so many ways. I think this is such a great resource for the audience. So I’m so grateful that you are here. How can they reach you personally? Do you have a website? How would they get in touch with you?

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:47:58 My website is probably the best, so it’s WW style coaching. Com and again I’ll see Leslie I’ll provide you with my email address and my Facebook handles because again you know come say hi love to chat and take that first step. I mean it’ll be lovely anyone who’s listening and it resonates with come and book one of my style revamp sessions. You know no pressure. 30 minutes. Just me and you. And we can see where you are now. And you know, again, you always like to give a few little confidence tips and to see how you can progress in terms of your emotional connection to start or how you can feel more confident, regain your sense of self and dress for the woman you are now.

Leslie Duffy 00:48:41 That’s wonderful. I love that I might even be signing up for your five day revamp.

Leslie Duffy 00:48:46 I’d love it if that would be wonderful. So for the audience, please hang on until I say goodbye to Louise. I will just going to do a quick summary of what we just went over, and I’m going to give you also a couple of takeaways that you can start using right away. And I will also make sure you get into the show notes, because all of the goodness that Louise has shared with us is going to be there on all the links. So I cannot thank you enough. Louise, I appreciate you being here and I cannot thank you enough.

Louise (Jade) Cordell 00:49:14 So know and thank you for having me. It’s been an absolute pleasure and I hope everyone who’s listening has got some takeaways that they can take from this conversation, and some tips that you can implement today.

Leslie Duffy 00:49:26 Wonderful. Thank you. This conversation was such a powerful reminder that our clothes are not just things that we put over our bodies, it’s also about energy and about how you feel about yourself and about honoring who you are in this stage of our lives.

Leslie Duffy 00:49:43 Visibility is one of the biggest issues right now, and I really want to invite you to work with Louise if you would like to learn more about her work. You can find her at Jade’s coaching.com. She also has a free style confidence reset challenge and everything is in today’s show notes. So if this conversation spoke to you, go ahead and like and rate it. I really want to hear from you. Please tell me what you decided to implement and I will see you next time for another episode of the Hormone Shift Show. Take care now. Thanks so much for joining me today for this episode of The Hormone Shift Show. If you enjoyed the episode, be sure to hit subscribe and share it with a friend so that more women can feel supported. This is your window of health. Your comeback starts here. I’ll see you next time.